Tag Archives: Personal Relationship Coaching

Change Your Perception Change Your Outcomes - Stefan Neff

The Perception Of Others Is What Held Me Back From A Successful Relationship With My Wife

The Perception Of Others Is What Held Me Back From A Successful Relationship With My Wife

So this is how it went down in our house!! So many years ago, I would think I was right and she was wrong – well, that was my perception of how I thought the truth was, but on her side of the coin was something totally different.

I had only picked out what I wanted to see and was blinded by the real truth of the situation.

Why was I thinking this way?

I didn’t want to face what I was doing. I could only see the front side of the two-sided coin. Means there is always two sides to every story.

When I looked at my life from my eyes today I can see what and how I was thinking, WOW what a close-minded MAN I was — My thoughts were on the protection of my self bride and NOT on the real truth.
The event in life lead to – “THOUGHTS” that lead to “FEELINGS” follows how we “BEHAVE” = “OUTCOMES”

This formula of life is the freedom that I needed to release my perception of the events that happened in my life…

Why is this formula so powerful to use to create change in life? Well, now I can understand where my feelings are coming from and I can solve the major problems that occur in my life today!!

YES, the situation does pop-up time to time that causes me to have perception issues. Then new habit on problem-solving springs into action and with practice, patience and persistence come relief after a few minutes…
What are you doing to solve your issues that pop into your life?

What are you doing to fix your perceptions of the events that are causing you problems in your relationships?

Would you use this FORMULA “E-T-F-B=O” “EVENTS – THOUGHTS – FEELINGS – BEHAVIOURS = OUTCOMES” to fix your problems in your relationships???

If you want to know how this formula works and how to implement into your life when the problem occurs then we can work together in finding the right path towards your happiness today…

Do You Have The Courage To Perceive Life In A New LIGHT??

You can contact us via email at stefanneff53@gmail.com or text me at 778-551-0419 to find out more about creating happiness in your relationship with yourself and others…

Think With A Open Heart - Stefan Neff

Black Or White Without Any Grey Areas In Relationships Are Problematic & A Waste Of Time And Energy!!!

Black Or White Without Any Grey Areas In Relationships Are Problematic & A Waste Of Time And Energy!!!

I know from experience that black and white thinking is so damaging in relationships because I was one of those guys who always thought that everything must be none black or white that means DO OR NOT DO…

Why did I think this way… Well as I was growing up my mother and father were both black or white thinkers. I remember that my father had to do things a certain way and same went the other way my mother had to do her way… This was what I learned as a child, not to blame my parents because that was what they were taught from their parents. 

Go figure monkey see monkey do LOL… 

Well, I was the little monkey learning from the influence in my life!

Who was your influence in your life that was teaching you everything that you are doing in life today that may be causing you major issues in your relationships now? 

Please don’t blame your parents because it is your choice to act on what you believe was the truth. You have your own choices that you make or made in your life right — We all have to take responsibility for our actions in life, even the ones that cause us hardships and painful moments in life. 

Do we have choices in our life, “YES WE DO” We can think and act badly towards others… We have choices to be angry, sad or even get upset at the ones who hurt us. Taking responsibility for all that happens to us and for us is one thing that can shift towards a grey way of thinking… 

Why is it important to be in the grey to save your relationships?

Well, this is why… If you want to right means Black all the time then there is room for the one whom you love!!!

If you want to say all or nothing then you may run into many more issues then you bargained for… I know the truth because I was that GUY LOL but no so funny when I didn’t know what to do when my wife got very upset with me I ran out the door and started to use alcohol to cope with the problem. 

Now I know what I was doing and am able to think on the grey side of life. “I DON’T NEED ALCOHOL ANY MORE”!!

No one can change my life… No one can make the choice for me until I faced the truth about how I was thinking!!

If you are thinking BLACK OR WHITE, let me help you fix that issue because I know how too…

The other option is to keep doing what you know best and live in what I call turmoil without any solution…

What do you want?

Who do you want to be?

Black Or White?

Do you really want to move into the grey area of life?

The choice is yours of course? 

I made my choice to change the way I do everything in my life…

Do You Have The Courage To Change Your Life To GREY!!!

You can contact us via email at stefanneff53@gmail.com or text me at 778-551-0419 to find out more about creating happiness in your relationship with yourself and others…


Be The One Who Loves

Number #1 Relationship Coaching Team – With Stefan Neff & Tomoko Ota Neff

Relationship With Yourself Is So Important…

Why am I seeking love and acceptance from others!!

The best way I know how to express what I am feeling inside my thoughts are to tell you everything I know about happiness…

Why was self-acceptance so so very important to my happiness in the past?
Because my cup of happiness was half empty… – my heart was so lonely with sadness as a child, yes I had so many moments of fun and enjoyment but the sadness overpowered my happy times. Why, because I wanted to feel the love of others.

I wanted to be accepted by others no matter what!

These feeling had overpowered my life on a daily basis throughout my life, always seeking love well, I think we all want to be loved at some point in our lives.

My truth is I didn’t love myself enough to fill my own tank of self-love and care within my life on a daily basis.

That’s why I wasn’t happy…

No god or anyone else could make me happy — I am the only one that could fill my cup up towards happiness…

How do I expect anyone else to give me what I want when I didn’t give it to myself — hmmm… sounds like I was expecting others to make me happy — “YES” well, it was me that was stopping myself from happiness!!

Are you waiting for someone to make you happy? — well, you may wait forever for that to happen in your lifetime, that’s the truth because for those who wait for love will always be disappointed when love doesn’t COME…

What is the measurements of happiness to you?

Is it how many friends you have… Is it how big your house is!!
How nice your car is… well, you may wait for a lifetime for happiness to come into your life if are thinking that way!!

Do you want to wait for a lifetime for self-acceptance or do want to learn how to create your own self-care within yourself…
“Good question I said to the person looking back at me in the mirror of life”!

I believe we all have choices in life towards a happy life…
My question is to you is, when is your happiness coming into your life?

If your answer I don’t know… then that may be the time to accept that happiness isn’t for you!!

If you are waiting for a magical potion to show up on your doorstep from Amazon then you will never be happy… well, that what I was doing in my life, I was waiting for years and years for happiness to show up from somewhere else than within my own heart and soul!!!

Answer these question…

Do you have the courage to be happy?

Do you want to know happiness?

Are you willing to do anything towards happiness?

Would you spend time on yourself?

Would you ask someone to help you help yourself with happiness?

Do you agree or is happiness NOT on your bucket list???

To help you help yourself, my Wife, & I have created a process that works 100% Guaranteed…

We made a choice in our lives to be happy!!

We also know what anger, sadness and unhappiness feelings are all about because we hated life each other and people around us. Until we made a choice to be happy…

You can contact us via email at stefanneff53@gmail.com or text me at 778-551-0419 to find out more about creating happiness in your relationship with yourself and others…


Personal Relationship Coaching

Why for so many years did I get upset when I was challenged by my wife…  well, I was afraid of being wrong and to be judged by others, especially the person I loved.

Why was so painful, well I had a subconscious pain point that was stamped within me that I didn’t want to face.

How do I deal with this pain? – Face it accept it otherwise this pain would affect my happiness until I die… Do I want to hold onto these pain points? Yes, because this gave me a reason to feel a thought from my past memories…

So many times in my life I have asked myself, do I really want to live like this and my answer is “NO WAY MAN”… So why do I keep this most upsetting thought? I didn’t believe for one second that I created my own pain but the truth is I do create everything that happens in my life, who else creates my life!! Who else makes me sad or mad?

Not my wife, not my children and definitely not the people that are around me… I do it all on my own with no ones help indeed… 

My question to you is, do you feel like this in your life?

Do you feel punished with fear and upsetting feeling at times?

Are people affecting your happiness?

At some point have you looked into the mirror and asked yourself am I unhappy? Is your life filled with these kinda moments of fear and anxiety? 

If so — there is a solution that my wife and I have created that will fix those issues… 

Do you want to live the life of your desires?

Would you do anything to fix it?

Is having a happy life worth it…

I truly believe so…

I know that my happiness is worth IT!!

To learn more about how you can create happiness in your life, contact us at stefanneff53@gmail.com or PM me to find out how you can stop from feeling upset, mad or sad in your life…