Tag Archives: How to fix your relationship

YOUR CALM MIND IS THE ULTIMATE TOOL TOWARDS FACING THE TRUTH Stefan Oskar Neff-2

How To Let Go Of Self Guilt In Your Relationships

How To Let Go Of Self Guilt In Your Relationships

Can you release guilt from our mind and soul?

YES, when you are committed to releasing and facing guilt head-on with such a powerful force!

No, if you want to hold onto the feeling that guilt gives you!! That may be exactly why guilt doesn’t go away.

Sometimes you have to forgive yourself for what we did in the past. And begin the process to be able to forgive others that have hurt you in the past.

If you are unable to say “YES” you can never have peace of mind from your guilty thoughts.

7 Healing Ways You Can Deal With Guilt That Will Help You Feel Much Healthier
1. Understanding Your Purpose For Your Guilt. …
2. Seeing If You’re Measuring Yourself To Others Expectations Of Your Guilt. …
3. Checking Yourself: See If The Guilt You Are Feeling Is Rational Or Irrational. …
4. Talk It Out With A Loved One Or Relationship Coach. …
5. Focus Your Attention On What You Can Do Now Instead Of What You Can’t Do. …
6. Remember: This Doesn’t Mean You Should Punish Yourself For What You Did. …
7. Yes, Let It Go. But Face Why You Feel These Guilty Feelings. …

Effects of Guilty Feelings.

The debilitating sense of guilt that so many people feel isn’t just unhealthy for the psyche; it’s tremendous for an unhealthy mindset.
And that’s just part of what guilt does to us.”It [guilt] also contributing factor to cardiovascular issues and stomach problems as well. It can also have a negative impact on our relationships over many years of feeling guilty,”

If you have the courage to release your guilt please reach out and ask me how I released my guilt within my life.

To work with us contact me via email at stefanneff53@gmail.com or text me at 778-551-0419 to find out more about creating happiness in your relationship with yourself and others.

Thank You from Stefan Neff

Thank You from Stefan Neff

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Why Do Marriages Fail? Is It Because Of Miscommunication Or Just A Lack Of Self-Discipline - Stefan Neff

Why Do Marriages Fail? Is It Because Of Miscommunication Or Just A Lack Of Self-Discipline??

Why Do Marriages Fail? Is It Because Of Miscommunication Or Just A Lack Of Self-Discipline!!

Well, let’s dive right into the real reason marriages fail. 

1. Trust

2. Lying

3. Needing approval

4. Misunderstandings

5. Self-care

6. Self-awareness

7. Mistreatments of self

8. Mistreatments of others

9. Self observant

10. Lack of self-worth as a person

These are just a few reasons why people in marriages seem to be stuck…

So why are people stuck in the mud and all the time seem to be pressing on the gas pedal but never going forward…

They may lack the skills necessary to cope with life’s problems or even be wanting others to feel sorry for them whatever the reason might be there are stuck and walking around in circles without a guide to help them along the way… their parents didn’t have the tools may be there grandparents were also stuck in the mud as well. 

Nobody to blame here but ourselves well, that is the truth because we create everything that happens in our lives NO GOD or other forms can do it for us or TO US… LOL “That Is The Truth” 

If you take the TEN things on the list above and just work on our well-being and truly focus on self rather than trying to make others happy… That is not the only reason but it is a large reason why we get mad, sad and sometimes depressed in life because individuals are creatures of habit as well as a past mindset that is creating there present situations in life.

So how can we fix our relationships? Is it working on a new mindset or habits YES, that is a large part of creating a happier marriage, but the biggest thing is to accept that we are creating as our reality and stop blaming life’s problems on others or the world… Yes, I have heard this a MILLION times before taking responsibility right but are we do that daily. Are we looking in the mirror and saying do I mean IT and asking ourselves what do we want in life. 

Are we saying it consciously or at a deeper level into our SUBCONSCIOUS MIND this is the pressing question that we can ask ourselves every single day what we are living on this amazing planet we call Earth…

Are you one of those people who think that shit happens for a reason or are you one those people who think that GOD is going to take care of my happiness?

Are you having problems in your relationships?

Are you having communication issues in your love life?

Has life just been SO SO up this point?

I ask you this!! Do you want to fix your relationship today, towards a more loving and forever comfortable LIFE? YES, of coarse who doesn’t want a better life and loving marriage right…

Well, you would be surprised to find out that a lot of people like being miserable… Do you want to be in the group of blamer’s — complainers and darn right angry all the time people… NO WAY!!! 

Stop putting crap in my head…

Tell me what you FEEL & MEAN SIR?

OPEN UP YOUR NOISE HOLES AND SMELL WHAT I AM COOKING!

THE TRUTH BE TOLD I AM CREATING EVERYTHING THAT I WANT AND NEED IN LIFE!!

NO ONE IS MAKING ME DO ANYTHING EXCEPT ME!!!

I AM CREATING MY OWN STORY!!!!

Do You Have The Courage To Think differently???

You can contact us via email at stefanneff53@gmail.com or text me at 778-551-0419 to find out more about creating happiness in your relationship with yourself and others…

The Perception Of Others Is What Held Me Back From A Successful Relationship With My Wife

Mindset Is crucial towards the life we desire

Mindset Is crucial towards the life we desire

Why is Mindset important? Well, as humans go we think and behave from the way we feel by the events that happen in our lives!! We decided to get hurt, angry and even strike back at others for hurting our feelings!! The only person that can hurt us is ourselves! You can believe it OR not but it is the truth… 

Why do you think war starts or relationships fall apart, it’s because of the perception of the event that has created the feeling or belief in the first place that becomes our outcome in life…

Just imagine if we knew what was causing the feelings that started every argument in the world and we knew how to deal with it… the world would be in a better space then now… 

There would be less than nothing to argue about… WOW, that would be something to see if we were able to live like that on a daily basis… hmmmmm…

Just imagine what your life would be like if you could process your thoughts that caused your unhappiness! Well, there would be a whole bunch of people walking around with permanent smiles on their faces… LOL 

There would be so much laughing going on in our lives or the world for matter without fear of judgement or negative influences in life… When we look at ourselves as the person who is creating everything that happens to us and for us… Life would be so much happier than if we didn’t take responsibility for our thoughts and feelings and behaviours!!!

What do you want in your life?

Do you want more skills to deal with issues or problems in your life?

If your answer is “NO WAY SIR I CAN DO IT ALL ON MY OWN” then that is your answer to stay where you are at NOW!!!

Well if your answer is “YES I WANT TO CREATE CHANGE IN MY LIFE!! 

Then let’s talk about what my wife and I can create to help you HELP YOURSELF…

Do You Have The Courage To Think differently???

You can contact us via email at stefanneff53@gmail.com or text me at 778-551-0419 to find out more about creating happiness in your relationship with yourself and others…

Change Your Perception Change Your Outcomes - Stefan Neff

The Perception Of Others Is What Held Me Back From A Successful Relationship With My Wife

The Perception Of Others Is What Held Me Back From A Successful Relationship With My Wife

So this is how it went down in our house!! So many years ago, I would think I was right and she was wrong – well, that was my perception of how I thought the truth was, but on her side of the coin was something totally different.

I had only picked out what I wanted to see and was blinded by the real truth of the situation.

Why was I thinking this way?

I didn’t want to face what I was doing. I could only see the front side of the two-sided coin. Means there is always two sides to every story.

When I looked at my life from my eyes today I can see what and how I was thinking, WOW what a close-minded MAN I was — My thoughts were on the protection of my self bride and NOT on the real truth.
The event in life lead to – “THOUGHTS” that lead to “FEELINGS” follows how we “BEHAVE” = “OUTCOMES”

This formula of life is the freedom that I needed to release my perception of the events that happened in my life…

Why is this formula so powerful to use to create change in life? Well, now I can understand where my feelings are coming from and I can solve the major problems that occur in my life today!!

YES, the situation does pop-up time to time that causes me to have perception issues. Then new habit on problem-solving springs into action and with practice, patience and persistence come relief after a few minutes…
What are you doing to solve your issues that pop into your life?

What are you doing to fix your perceptions of the events that are causing you problems in your relationships?

Would you use this FORMULA “E-T-F-B=O” “EVENTS – THOUGHTS – FEELINGS – BEHAVIOURS = OUTCOMES” to fix your problems in your relationships???

If you want to know how this formula works and how to implement into your life when the problem occurs then we can work together in finding the right path towards your happiness today…

Do You Have The Courage To Perceive Life In A New LIGHT??

You can contact us via email at stefanneff53@gmail.com or text me at 778-551-0419 to find out more about creating happiness in your relationship with yourself and others…

Think With A Open Heart - Stefan Neff

Black Or White Without Any Grey Areas In Relationships Are Problematic & A Waste Of Time And Energy!!!

Black Or White Without Any Grey Areas In Relationships Are Problematic & A Waste Of Time And Energy!!!

I know from experience that black and white thinking is so damaging in relationships because I was one of those guys who always thought that everything must be none black or white that means DO OR NOT DO…

Why did I think this way… Well as I was growing up my mother and father were both black or white thinkers. I remember that my father had to do things a certain way and same went the other way my mother had to do her way… This was what I learned as a child, not to blame my parents because that was what they were taught from their parents. 

Go figure monkey see monkey do LOL… 

Well, I was the little monkey learning from the influence in my life!

Who was your influence in your life that was teaching you everything that you are doing in life today that may be causing you major issues in your relationships now? 

Please don’t blame your parents because it is your choice to act on what you believe was the truth. You have your own choices that you make or made in your life right — We all have to take responsibility for our actions in life, even the ones that cause us hardships and painful moments in life. 

Do we have choices in our life, “YES WE DO” We can think and act badly towards others… We have choices to be angry, sad or even get upset at the ones who hurt us. Taking responsibility for all that happens to us and for us is one thing that can shift towards a grey way of thinking… 

Why is it important to be in the grey to save your relationships?

Well, this is why… If you want to right means Black all the time then there is room for the one whom you love!!!

If you want to say all or nothing then you may run into many more issues then you bargained for… I know the truth because I was that GUY LOL but no so funny when I didn’t know what to do when my wife got very upset with me I ran out the door and started to use alcohol to cope with the problem. 

Now I know what I was doing and am able to think on the grey side of life. “I DON’T NEED ALCOHOL ANY MORE”!!

No one can change my life… No one can make the choice for me until I faced the truth about how I was thinking!!

If you are thinking BLACK OR WHITE, let me help you fix that issue because I know how too…

The other option is to keep doing what you know best and live in what I call turmoil without any solution…

What do you want?

Who do you want to be?

Black Or White?

Do you really want to move into the grey area of life?

The choice is yours of course? 

I made my choice to change the way I do everything in my life…

Do You Have The Courage To Change Your Life To GREY!!!

You can contact us via email at stefanneff53@gmail.com or text me at 778-551-0419 to find out more about creating happiness in your relationship with yourself and others…

 

I am so happy and grateful for my wife Tomoko - Law Of Attraction

I am so happy and grateful for my wife Tomoko – Law Of Attraction

 

My life story!!

#lawofattraction #spirituality #raiseyourvibration

The Day we got Remarried together Without love in our Heart

I remember the day like it was yesterday when we got remarried, looking for a free pass to citizenship without love. The plan was to just fake it for the reasons that were overwhelmed feeling to have her and my son sent back to there country 4000 miles away from my control. I couldn’t get them out of my mind if they were gone from my sight because they might be deported without cause. I look for seasons to let them go but there where no other options to be seen. So we went for it for all it was worth in the world, if they found out what we were up to they would definitely recommend to everyone who has been watching us with unbelievable concern to help themselves to say goodbye forever. I had a plan in my mind to save them from the grasp of the immigration service to guide them back to shame again, this wasn’t going to happen to me. I started to realize that in order for this to work we had to start a real relationship that was full of love. Well the only way for this to be true I had to change my way of thinking, for this so incredibly hard work for my head to figure out how to make happen. The times we spent with each other was starting to pay off, for our life was about to change forever more. Months went by with still with a uneasiness about our relationship to be more than just a marriage without love, but our son needed to have a father in his life. Our son wanted to play soccer in September as a father that played the game when he was a child growing up, this a moment of joy for me. I was willing to do anything it took to make this a reality in his life. I signed him up, but went though some difficult time trying to sign him up without a credit card. I found a way with cash only, this had to meet with the lady in charge of all the soccer teams involved. I meet her at the evaluation day wondering what was going to happen. Well for this was one of my most memorable moments in my life, she asked me if I could coach his team because nobody was interested in helping with his team. I said absolutely YES YES I would do it without hesitation in my throat. For this was my chances to make a difference between myself and my sons mother. 

I will be back tomorrow with more of this storyline to be told. 

What was about to happen will make your eyes weep with tears of pain.

Until next time be happy to your partners in love and within your heart.

From Friday’s post you will see what was told.