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The story is unraveling Beneath my feet 4000 miles from home. As the day became shorter to its end, I decided to lie my way out of the toxic relationship that I was in. My next move was to figure out how to tell the perfect lie. So this is what I did, I told my toxic wife that my older son 4000 miles away was in the hospital and I need to be with him because he was calling for me to come. There was some truth to it but only some, then I told her that I was going to prepare myself to move to were I was most uncomfortable 4000 miles away. This was a full out lie to get out of jail card that I used that I thought was a great solution at that time haha to them I said to myself. As I was leaving to get onto the airplane there was a sinking feeling in my gut, wow I am really doing this for relief, what a terrible thing to do why am I such a looser I thought.
What happen before this story began find out in the previous post click here to find out what was so painful in my toxic relationship that I decided to jump ship and swim home.
As the story unfolds with thoughts of running away into a dark hole where no one can find me crying. The day after I arrived I started to feel attack from the women that I thought was my wife. This was a forgotten time in my life whereby people wanted me to be something that I wasn’t. I looked upon my baby boy’s eyes with joy in my heart but when I turn around there she was starring right throw me with those angry eyes. These thought brought memories flashbacks throw my body that created a flight to run away from my pains in my head. Run away I was thinking run away I thought, but looking into my sons eyes was holding me back from escaping my reality that was life it self.
As the story is continuing into the toxic relationship without trust in our hearts. Traveling to the land of mistreatment of my soul, when I decided to travel 4000 miles to see my son with love in my heart and hate in my mind. My mind was so mixed up with fear there was nothing but emptiness in my life when I left my comfort zone of home. Leaving my home for something that would change my life forever more. When I was getting on the airplane there was many feelings going through my mind. “why am I going” “what’s going to become of this life of mine” “Am I going to get hurt” I had ten hours of deep thinking to feel so many fears. When I was landing, all I could think of was what am I going to say to my wife that felt me for a better life without the toxic relationship that she was living with me.