Author Archives: Stefan Oskar Neff - Personal Relationship Coaching

About Stefan Oskar Neff - Personal Relationship Coaching

Stefan Neff "MISSION STATEMENT" Why for so many years did I get upset when I was challenged by my wife… well, I was afraid of being wrong and to be judged by others, especially the person I loved. Why was so painful, well I had a subconscious pain point that was stamped within me that I didn't want to face. How do I deal with this pain? - Face it accept it otherwise this pain would affect my happiness until I die… Do I want to hold onto these pain points? Yes, because this gave me a reason to feel a thought from my past memories… So many times in my life I have asked myself, do I really want to live like this and my answer is "NO WAY MAN"… So why do I keep this most upsetting thought? I didn’t believe for one second that I created my own pain but the truth is I do create everything that happens in my life, who else creates my life!! Who else makes me sad or mad? Not my wife, not my children and definitely not the people that are around me… I do it all on my own with no ones help indeed… My question to you is, do you feel like this in your life? Do you feel punished with fear and upsetting feeling at times? Are people affecting your happiness? At some point have you looked into the mirror and asked yourself am I unhappy? Is your life filled with these kinda moments of fear and anxiety? If so -- there is a solution that my wife and I have created that will fix those issues... Do you want to live the life of your desires? Would you do anything to fix it? Is having a happy life worth it... I truly believe so... I know that my happiness is worth IT!! To learn more about how you can create happiness in your life, contact us at stefanneff53@gmail.com or PM me to find out how you can stop from feeling upset, mad or sad in your life...I truly believe that we all have gifts that always live in our souls, that is what makes us all unique in this world that we live in. My goal in life is to create abundance within all that I touch. To find true happiness comes from within our trust to ourselves that brings joy to our hearts with every breath we take towards greatness. True greatness is to give to others with kindness in our soul. My mission is to have families create massive success on many levels. Creating success in life, love, family and especially ourselves. Now for a little about my life !! WHO IS STEFAN OSKAR NEFF I was married then divorced then remarried to the same woman again. I was born in 1969 in Richmond BC Canada. As far back as I remember when I was five years old I was a bed wetter until the age of twelve. I was always trying to hide this fact because my father would get angry with me, so I decided to hide my pee-stained sheets in the washing machine so he wouldn't get mad at me. When I started elementary school I was told that I had learning disabilities, I was a shudder and was dyslexic. When I tried to read and write, the school became difficult in my life having other children tease me throughout my childhood smelling pee on my clothes saying words like pee boy pee boy and being called stupid. This was a painful feeling in my life when I was growing up. One of my favorite things to do to escape my feelings in life was playing soccer as a child to release my anxiety in life, starting at the age of six years old. But I was always wondered why my father never came to my soccer games to watch me play. At times even my mother just dropped me off at the coaches house because she said she was to busy to drive me to my games. I often wondered when watching other mothers and father attending there children's games and asking myself why only me then tears would run down my cheeks with pain in my heart, wanting my parents to see me play the game I loved so much. I remembered when I was seven years old sitting on my parents' bed by myself playing with a box of wooden matches wondering what would happen if I started a fire on their bed. When the fire started to grow I began to panic in fear and went and sat down in the living room beside my parents like there was nothing wrong. As time went on my father could smell smoke and found there bed was on fire, he managed to drag the mattress outside of the house. My father was so angry his face turned into a different person, asking who did this looking at me did you do this, and I answered with a nervous look on my face trembling with fear, and said I did it I was playing with matches. I remember my father taking his belt off of his waist and hitting me many times and told me why did you make me belt you with anger in his eyes. In my teenage years, I continued to play soccer as well as basketball never once my father saying great job son always wondering if had got in trouble this was a painful time of my life growing up never being good enough for my father. In high school I began to rebel against my parents started smoking cigarettes drinking alcohol and doing drugs to escape from my pains in my life. When I was twenty-three I had my first son without seeing him born and meeting him for the first time when he was three years old calling someone else daddy, I was blaming others for my problem in life continuing to abuse drugs and alcohol wondering why this was happening to me why me I asked as I looked to the sky with tears in my eyes. When I was twenty-eight my son started to visit me more often now five years old. I soon found out that his mother was abusing drugs to the point of being homeless with our son. I took it upon myself to enroll our son in kindergarten at the same elementary school I attended when I was a child. Soon after his mother became homeless and was living at her drug dealers house turning to a life of crime for the drugs that she needed. I took on the responsibility of carrying for my son on my own but still abusing marijuana myself. I had a strong hatred towards his mother for leaving me to raise our son without love in his life. I didn't know how to care for my son even though I loved him so much. When I was twenty-nine I meet a Japanese woman at my family's home, where I fell in in love with this beautiful woman and started on a journey of pain, fear, abuse, and love. I traveled to Japan for the next few years before marrying in Japan in the year 2000. When we got married she stayed in Japan and I came back without my wife. This was a painful feeling within me all over again thinking from my past. When I arrived in Canada people asked me where is your wife, I lied to my family and friends about my true thoughts and feelings holding them within me. I continue to abuse marijuana and alcoholic to hide my pains from myself and failing as a father with my son. When my wife decided to come to live in Canada she wanted to have a child and immigrate to Canada. But I didn't want to help her with the paperwork that needed to be done, I told her that you can do it on your own because I didn't know how to fill out the paperwork and she could pay someone to do it for her. I said to her you have more money than me to pay for it to do it yourself with anger in my voice. As time went on she became pregnant with our child, she asked me if we could go to the doctor with a reply do you have medical insurance, of course, I knew she didn't. I didn't want to go to the doctor because I was afraid I might need to pay. All I wanted to do is save my money for drugs and alcohol and run away from my responsibility in life. Six months before our son was born my wives father was ill and dying of cancer in Japan, she decided to return and see her father for the time he had left in his life. I was so angry at her decision to leave me again because I thought that she wasn't going to return to Canada ever again. Her father past away a few months later before he could see his only grandson born. My fears became my reality when my wife decided to stay in Japan. So I decided to go to Japan and try to convince her to return with me to Canada with anger in my heart because I didn't want to be a failure in my life. I found there was no love in her heart for me anymore, I made an excuse that I needed to return to Canada to look after my son in Canada because he was sick and make arrangements to move to Japan, but this was a lie so I could escape from my responsibility as a father and as a husband. There was a time in our sons' life where he won't see his father when he was two years old wondering who his father was. During this time my older son was losing his father to drugs and alcohol wondering if his father was going to leave him behind like his mother did, My wife decided to come back to Canada for one reason only this was to get a divorce from me. I tried to make it work with love towards my son to make her love me again. This was a hopeless feeling in my life she was ready to move on with her life she hated me so much that she couldn't even look at me anymore. I knew at that moment there was no more love in her heart, I had driven her away forever. It felt like I was dying inside. I signed the divorce papers and they left soon thereafter seeming that I would never see my son again. I spent my time wallowing in my pains thinking that my life was a failure lying to people about what had happened between my wife and I. I said that she just didn't like Canada and missed Japan and was forcing me to move to Japan. I didn't send money, always promising but never doing what I said I was going to do for them. There came a time again my son wanted to see his father, so we set up Skype calls so he could see me once in a while and I started to send money to Japan. When our son was four years old he wanted to come and visit his family in Canada once again, but this time when they arrived in Canada they were put in jail at the Vancouver airport and were sent back to Japan in shame. We never spoke for the month after that painful moment in her life, she hated Canada more than ever now. There came a time in our sons' life that he really wanted to experience Canada for himself when he was six years old again wondering who is my father. Now my ex-wife decided to come back to Canada once again when they arrived at the airport the immigration officers phoned me and asked me many questions about why they were coming to Canada if I was really who they said I was. Finally, I saw them walking throw the gate with tears in my eyes thinking yes this is really happening finally after so many years of pain they are here, all the emotions came out from within me. The plain was they were going to stay for three months, but I wanted them to stay forever. As time went on our son was enjoying his time in Canada and wanted to stay longer and start going to school in Canada so I signed him up at the local elementary where I went when I was a child. This was a dream come for me but there was no love between his mother and I. For his mother to stay in Canada she needed to be a landed immigrant, the only way this was a possibility was for us to get married again but there was no love between us. Her love towards her son was so strong she decided to get married without love in her hearts to make our sons' dreams come true. After we got married our anger towards each other grew more and more every day. She wanted to move away from me, but they didn't know where to go. She asked me to pay for them to stay somewhere else. The disappointment of this feeling turned into anger and I began verbally abusing her I told her if you move on your own you can pay for it yourself. She phoned the police on me about my verbal abuse towards her and they told her if I wasn't hitting her that there was nothing that they could do to help her, they said verbal abuse isn't a crime in this country. She decided to leave and go to a transitional house for the abused and homeless woman. This again was a moment of what I thought was betrayal, I said why me with anger in my heart. My family became angry with my wife for leaving me once again, protecting my feelings saying you did nothing wrong you are a good man. But deep down in my subconscious mind, there was a feeling that my family was wrong to think this way. My wife and son stayed at the transitional house for there aloud time one month. I wasn't allowed to see them nor allowed to know where they were staying. There was a friend that my wife had that help us reconnect our lives to allow me to see what I had to do as a father. I decided to pay for there small coach house where they were going to stay. Time went on in our lives our son started a new school. But I was an outsider now looking into a window of there life, wanting to be a part of there life but still thinking of myself. Living at my family's farm with my older son that didn't want his father to go away and leave him on his own to be raised by his grandmother. I would often stay overnight and try to be a guest father. But this was a painful feeling always looking into there lives through a window but feeling left out of there new life without me. Our son wanted to start playing soccer In 2010 this was something that creates joy in my life like when I was a young boy. I was asked to become his soccer coach for this was an exciting feeling for me to give back and participate in my sons' lives in a positive way. This was a dream come true, I always wanted to become a coach. Then that same year our son wanted to go visit his family in Japan but his mother wasn't allowed to leave Canada until she had gotten her landed immigration papers done. So we sent him to Japan with the friend that help us through our difficult times. During the time our son was in Japan, just before the new year had started at 11:55 PM December 31st, 2010 our life was turned upside down my wife had stopped breathing and was near death with an unknown illness! I panicked with fear and didn't know what to do, I got her breathing again but she could talk nor walk. I picked her up in my arms and carried her to my car and took her to the hospital as fast as could. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with her, but she still couldn't walk on her own or talk after they did so many tests. They said that she could go home in the morning. When I brought her home she needed twenty-four-hour care this was the start of my healing process that was to care for someone else besides myself. What I didn't realize in 2009 that my wife was writing a blog about her life with her son without a father. People started to contact her asking her about the life that she was living in Canada. After her, near death experience, she started to change her life. In 2012 she was told that she had to stop writing her blog because some of my family members were getting upset about what was spoken to be the truth. This allowed her started her online counseling with Japanese women all over the world. My wife told me she didn't need me anymore and that you needed to understand that I am going to happy no matter what you do in your life. If I wanted to be with her I needed to understand her feelings that she is going to be happy without me in her life. This is when we I realized that she had changed her life. This was really when we started work on our relationship with passion in our life and love in our hearts. I didn't want to continue looking through a window of there life from outside. I made the decision to stop looking through the window and begin a life without fear of being alone in this world, to feel joy in my life allow truth to live within me. In 2016 after coming back from Japan, I made a life-changing decision to start working with my wife to change the world in how the universe creates our lives from what we believe to be our reality. We work on our relationship and business every day to have growth and learning about who we are as human beings to allow the feeling of happiness that is our lives together now. THANK YOU LIFE 101 #love #life #success #purpose #passion #lifestyle #BeHappy #StefanNeff

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FREE NLP Training – Live Seminar with Demonstrations to help guide you towards having a healthier relationship…

 

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More videos and in-person event opportunities: http://www.intraawareness.com/lp/nlpt… What is NLP?

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– Old baggage

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Is The Love In Your Relationship Seem Fuzzy - Stefan Neff

Do You Have The Courage To Fix Your Relationship?

Do you remember when you first started a relationship, how wonderful the feeling was? You couldn’t stop thinking about that moment in time… Yes, I remember so clearly like it was yesterday!!

Then one-day things started to feel FUZZY… Why is love so fuzzy I asked myself… Why am I feeling so uneasy about life and the people around me? Is there something wrong with me?? Well, the truth is my life was filled with temporary feelings and lasting for only a limited period of time; not permanent. 

Are your relationship goals scaring you?

If so, that’s a good thing…

The only goals worth pursuing are the ones that force you to move beyond your comfort zone… because that is where true growth happens.

And if you want to take your relationship to the next level, growth is required.

Pro-tip though: just because your goals are scary, that doesn’t mean they need to be overwhelming!

Any relationship goal, no matter how big or daunting, can be chunked down into a series of manageable, bite-sized steps.

And if you complete those steps one by one, you WILL achieve your goal — guaranteed!

Here’s the thing though. Figuring out exactly what those steps are, and the order you should take them in, can be easier said than done.

Working with us, we will share a powerful goal-driven technique that will help you gain valuable clarity into exactly what you need to do to achieve your goals.

This “unique” technique has helped many of our clients successfully build new found love in their relationships… rewrite and harness the passion within your life… add years to your sex lives, a new freedom to travel more and live the life you desire, and much more.

I’m confident it will help you achieve your goals faster and more easily, too!

Do You Have The Courage To Fix Your Relationship???

To work with us contact me via email at stefanneff53@gmail.com or text me at 778-551-0419 to find out more about creating happiness in your relationship with yourself and others…

Why Do Marriages Fail? Is It Because Of Miscommunication Or Just A Lack Of Self-Discipline - Stefan Neff

Why Do Marriages Fail? Is It Because Of Miscommunication Or Just A Lack Of Self-Discipline??

Why Do Marriages Fail? Is It Because Of Miscommunication Or Just A Lack Of Self-Discipline!!

Well, let’s dive right into the real reason marriages fail. 

1. Trust

2. Lying

3. Needing approval

4. Misunderstandings

5. Self-care

6. Self-awareness

7. Mistreatments of self

8. Mistreatments of others

9. Self observant

10. Lack of self-worth as a person

These are just a few reasons why people in marriages seem to be stuck…

So why are people stuck in the mud and all the time seem to be pressing on the gas pedal but never going forward…

They may lack the skills necessary to cope with life’s problems or even be wanting others to feel sorry for them whatever the reason might be there are stuck and walking around in circles without a guide to help them along the way… their parents didn’t have the tools may be there grandparents were also stuck in the mud as well. 

Nobody to blame here but ourselves well, that is the truth because we create everything that happens in our lives NO GOD or other forms can do it for us or TO US… LOL “That Is The Truth” 

If you take the TEN things on the list above and just work on our well-being and truly focus on self rather than trying to make others happy… That is not the only reason but it is a large reason why we get mad, sad and sometimes depressed in life because individuals are creatures of habit as well as a past mindset that is creating there present situations in life.

So how can we fix our relationships? Is it working on a new mindset or habits YES, that is a large part of creating a happier marriage, but the biggest thing is to accept that we are creating as our reality and stop blaming life’s problems on others or the world… Yes, I have heard this a MILLION times before taking responsibility right but are we do that daily. Are we looking in the mirror and saying do I mean IT and asking ourselves what do we want in life. 

Are we saying it consciously or at a deeper level into our SUBCONSCIOUS MIND this is the pressing question that we can ask ourselves every single day what we are living on this amazing planet we call Earth…

Are you one of those people who think that shit happens for a reason or are you one those people who think that GOD is going to take care of my happiness?

Are you having problems in your relationships?

Are you having communication issues in your love life?

Has life just been SO SO up this point?

I ask you this!! Do you want to fix your relationship today, towards a more loving and forever comfortable LIFE? YES, of coarse who doesn’t want a better life and loving marriage right…

Well, you would be surprised to find out that a lot of people like being miserable… Do you want to be in the group of blamer’s — complainers and darn right angry all the time people… NO WAY!!! 

Stop putting crap in my head…

Tell me what you FEEL & MEAN SIR?

OPEN UP YOUR NOISE HOLES AND SMELL WHAT I AM COOKING!

THE TRUTH BE TOLD I AM CREATING EVERYTHING THAT I WANT AND NEED IN LIFE!!

NO ONE IS MAKING ME DO ANYTHING EXCEPT ME!!!

I AM CREATING MY OWN STORY!!!!

Do You Have The Courage To Think differently???

You can contact us via email at stefanneff53@gmail.com or text me at 778-551-0419 to find out more about creating happiness in your relationship with yourself and others…

Jack Canfield With Stefan Oskar Neff

3 Myths About The Law of Attraction | Jack Canfield

 

If you believe in yourself, you can achieve anything.

It’s as simple — (and complicated) — as that.

Self-confidence doesn’t always come easy… especially if you’ve had to deal with negativity or setbacks in your life.

But it’s important for you to understand that you have everything you need to achieve any goal you can imagine.

That potential is inside you, waiting to be unlocked.

And an unwavering belief in yourself is the key that will open it.

Because when you know that you are already the kind of person who is capable of achieving your biggest dreams, you will start showing up in the world as that person.

And the world will respond to you as if you are that person.

This is what lies at the heart of the Law of Attraction which states that the energy you put out into the universe determines the energy that the universe reflects back to you.

Today I’d like to share some powerful tips on how to use (and how NOT to use) the Law of Attraction to show up as your best self and create the life you want.

Keep reading to learn more…

It’s time to show up as your best self, Everyone

I’m sure you’re familiar with this famous quote from Henry Ford…

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”

If you have an unshakeable belief in your ability to accomplish an ambitious goal, you will achieve it.

And if you doubt that you have what it takes, your efforts will always fall short. Your lack of belief will create obstacles that hold you back from getting the results you want.

So this week I’d like you to work on building confidence and faith in yourself.

Here are some ways you can do that:

• Spend 5 minutes every day visualizing yourself achieving your goals.If you can see it in your mind’s eye, you will find it much easier to make it a reality.

• Take on small challenges. Confidence comes from experiencing successful outcomes — then leveraging the self-esteem boost from each new “win” to propel yourself onto even bigger challenges.

• Celebrate your successes. Every time you achieve a goal, celebrate it! It’s important to recognize that you ARE the kind of person who is capable of accomplishing great things. The more you remember that, the more your confidence and self-worth will grow.

 

The Law of Attraction is the most powerful law in the Universe, however, some people scoff at the idea because they haven’t been able to harness it for themselves. The Law of Attraction is very real, and if you truly learn how to use it, can change your life forever. http://bit.ly/32stxHX

Here are some myths about the Law of Attraction that will keep you from experiencing true abundance in your life. To learn how to activate the Law of Attraction in your life, download my FREE guide by clicking the link above!

The Perception Of Others Is What Held Me Back From A Successful Relationship With My Wife

Mindset Is crucial towards the life we desire

Mindset Is crucial towards the life we desire

Why is Mindset important? Well, as humans go we think and behave from the way we feel by the events that happen in our lives!! We decided to get hurt, angry and even strike back at others for hurting our feelings!! The only person that can hurt us is ourselves! You can believe it OR not but it is the truth… 

Why do you think war starts or relationships fall apart, it’s because of the perception of the event that has created the feeling or belief in the first place that becomes our outcome in life…

Just imagine if we knew what was causing the feelings that started every argument in the world and we knew how to deal with it… the world would be in a better space then now… 

There would be less than nothing to argue about… WOW, that would be something to see if we were able to live like that on a daily basis… hmmmmm…

Just imagine what your life would be like if you could process your thoughts that caused your unhappiness! Well, there would be a whole bunch of people walking around with permanent smiles on their faces… LOL 

There would be so much laughing going on in our lives or the world for matter without fear of judgement or negative influences in life… When we look at ourselves as the person who is creating everything that happens to us and for us… Life would be so much happier than if we didn’t take responsibility for our thoughts and feelings and behaviours!!!

What do you want in your life?

Do you want more skills to deal with issues or problems in your life?

If your answer is “NO WAY SIR I CAN DO IT ALL ON MY OWN” then that is your answer to stay where you are at NOW!!!

Well if your answer is “YES I WANT TO CREATE CHANGE IN MY LIFE!! 

Then let’s talk about what my wife and I can create to help you HELP YOURSELF…

Do You Have The Courage To Think differently???

You can contact us via email at stefanneff53@gmail.com or text me at 778-551-0419 to find out more about creating happiness in your relationship with yourself and others…

Cover-eagle-headshot

“KEYS TO UNLOCKING YOUR LEADERSHIP INFLUENCE” – With Dr. Anita Sanchez

KEYS TO UNLOCKING YOUR LEADERSHIP INFLUENCE” 

with Dr. Anita Sanchez

 

Dr. Anita Sanchez

Dr. Anita Sanchez, of Mexican- American and Aztec ancestry, has spent four decades weaving indigenous wisdom and modern science to support business executives and their teams all over the world. Anita consults and trains using her benchmarked tools and programs focused on building diverse and inclusive cultures, leadership and business strategies. A truly inspiring speaker, she is the international bestselling author of “Success University for Women in Business” and of “The Four Sacred Gifts: Indigenous Wisdom for Modern Times”, from Simon & Schuster. The 2019 Latino Book Award just announced Anita’s book – The Four Sacred Gifts – as the “Most Inspirational Nonfiction Book” and “Best Self-Help Book”. Anita is passionate about “inspiring people to discover and trust their gifts so that they become a life-giving connection to people and to the planet. For more information on Anita and her work go to http://www.Anita-Sanchez.com

Free Gift:

The Strategic Matrix for Diversity Initiatives

Click Here For Your Free Gift

 

 

 

Change Your Perception Change Your Outcomes - Stefan Neff

The Perception Of Others Is What Held Me Back From A Successful Relationship With My Wife

The Perception Of Others Is What Held Me Back From A Successful Relationship With My Wife

So this is how it went down in our house!! So many years ago, I would think I was right and she was wrong – well, that was my perception of how I thought the truth was, but on her side of the coin was something totally different.

I had only picked out what I wanted to see and was blinded by the real truth of the situation.

Why was I thinking this way?

I didn’t want to face what I was doing. I could only see the front side of the two-sided coin. Means there is always two sides to every story.

When I looked at my life from my eyes today I can see what and how I was thinking, WOW what a close-minded MAN I was — My thoughts were on the protection of my self bride and NOT on the real truth.
The event in life lead to – “THOUGHTS” that lead to “FEELINGS” follows how we “BEHAVE” = “OUTCOMES”

This formula of life is the freedom that I needed to release my perception of the events that happened in my life…

Why is this formula so powerful to use to create change in life? Well, now I can understand where my feelings are coming from and I can solve the major problems that occur in my life today!!

YES, the situation does pop-up time to time that causes me to have perception issues. Then new habit on problem-solving springs into action and with practice, patience and persistence come relief after a few minutes…
What are you doing to solve your issues that pop into your life?

What are you doing to fix your perceptions of the events that are causing you problems in your relationships?

Would you use this FORMULA “E-T-F-B=O” “EVENTS – THOUGHTS – FEELINGS – BEHAVIOURS = OUTCOMES” to fix your problems in your relationships???

If you want to know how this formula works and how to implement into your life when the problem occurs then we can work together in finding the right path towards your happiness today…

Do You Have The Courage To Perceive Life In A New LIGHT??

You can contact us via email at stefanneff53@gmail.com or text me at 778-551-0419 to find out more about creating happiness in your relationship with yourself and others…