When Will Our Life Be What I imagine it to be, I try so hard to please her but she doesn’t even know I exist. What do I do about my life, how do I change for her. Is my life filled with pain and suffering forever living in my past life.

I looked at my life day by day in the past, always wondering why isn’t there any goodness in my life. As I said from my previous story I was our sons soccer coach, I was making money for them to just live in the life luxury. They didn’t need to worry about anything, only my anger what was my problem I thought. I was going crazy always thinking that I was doing the wrong thing. I wanted to leave so many times, But when I felt the house in anger I always looked over my shoulder to see if she would call me back to apologize or say come back please, but not once she said to me sorry about being so abusive towards you. I wouldn’t yell or hit her, I would only egnor her with a silent treatment or with a angry look on my face. I first thing was to drink myself where I didn’t even feel anything in my mind. 

I was escaping from myself and all the pains that were bottled up inside me. 

It was time to change my life for the future or else there was no future for myself.